The travelling circus
My mornings are very much the same…….
I wake up feeling serene, relaxed and ready to take on the world, only to quickly remember where I am and what I’m up against. I brace myself and roll out of bed quietly, barely able to communicate. I keep my head down (because if you can’t see them, they can’t see you, right?) and sneak across the lounge room floor.
Bam! Out of nowhere I’m greeted with, not one, not two, but three very wide eyed and talkative little lions, I mean people. One by one they surround me, I’m defenceless and I can sense they are going to pounce. I take the express train to the kettle and slam that big boy down (coffee) before I make eye contact with any of them. Never make eye contact!
With a coffee in the system things are starting to make sense. I’m able to process the demands, the sensory overload isn’t so intense, and I can focus on the several moving parts. Coffee isn’t my lifeblood, but it certainly helps.
Life here is often a blur. Ask me what I’m doing on the weekend and I won’t be able to tell you. Ask me what I did yesterday, and I’ll have to filter through 856 events, conversations and moments to try and remember. I’m not suffering from short term memory loss, I’m suffering from parenthood amnesia!
I often ask myself how’d it get so crazy, and put simply, it’s life with children. My husband and I devote a lot of time talking through life’s important “learning” moments with our children. Sometimes I’m so exhausted from talking I don’t want to talk anymore. All three children are extremely different, so it’s never a one size fits all approach. Some need to talk everything out and some just want to squeeze some playdough, each to their own.
Being attentive, present and willing to discuss things as they arise, is exactly how I want to be for my children. But I’ve discovered it can take its toll.
Sometimes I’d rather walk to school in silence, the sound of traffic is enough. Sometimes I don’t want to plan. I’m a spontaneous person, so when I’m asked every day of the week, what are we doing today, what are we having for lunch and dinner and, at regular times, what time is it…. I go borderline crazy.
I love my children dearly, and this travelling circus that I’m so lucky to be a part of, is my everything. But that’s not to say that sometimes I don’t feel like I’d like to calm this circus down a little.
I keep reminding myself that it won’t last forever and soon they won’t want to listen to me sing (screech) my way through every Lady Gaga song under the sun. And, even though I never get a shower in peace, or get the privilege of finishing a conversation without an interruption, this is my life and I wouldn’t change it.
I also know that I’m not alone and that many parents around the world find themselves immersed in similar family shenanigans as my own. There is great comfort in knowing we are in this together. In the meantime, I’ll catch my moments of solace and reprieve by sipping several coffees a day and planting cheeky night time kisses on their gorgeous chubby cheeks.